Saturday, July 24, 2010

Sneaky Ego...

At some point, we get to a place in our practice or our lives that makes us terribly uncomfortable.
What does it mean to be uncomfortable? Especially within that moment specifically? It must mean that we have SOME sort of expectation about our present moment.

Ah, EXPECTATIONS...
could that be one of the seven deadly yogi sins if there were such a thing? I imagine many enlightened beings would call "expectation" the perfect example of the PAST EXERTING ITSELF ON THE PRESENT.

So what would it mean to let go of an expectation? Woah man, that could be a big deal...
Because it's not as if we can't and shouldn't learn from the past, right? We figure out that if we lean a little too far we might fall over, lean a little to hard on someone else, and they might fall over.
So again...if we let go of expectation, how does that mean we live?
In every next moment as if it were an entirely new experience? I don't know. Maybe exploring how expectations are created within ourselves will help answer the question -

This is how I broke down my formula for expectation:

LAST TIME, "A" happened. And it was AWESOME...or CRAPPY.
SO NEXT TIME, I BELIEVE IT SHOULD HAPPEN LIKE THIS...

but check out these words for a second...
"Awesome" and "Crappy" are judgements - but who's judging?
"I believe," and "it should" - whoa whoa whoa- who's talking here???

ahh...and so the ego shows herself...

She's sneaky.

If we lived without discomfort, would our egos ever be challenged?
If ego were never challenged, she would rule our minds and keep us unconscious forever.

SO. As we move into challenge and possible discomfort in our lives/practice, notice WHO is uncomfortable. Is it that sneaky, saucy ego?
Name it
Release it
Recycle it
It has no hold on you.
It can only teach you.

LOVE ERIN

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